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Getting Bare!

I was super excited to participate in Bare! True Stories of Sex, Desire and Romance this week as my last appearance in Boston before moving West (I’ll be back in Boston soon enough to visit!) I had a great time telling stories (I always do :) and though we didn’t catch it in the video,…

Kinky Polyamory

A while back I did an interview with Cunning Minx for her podcast Poly Weekly and we talked about being poly AND kinky. I shared my experience of having multiple submissives for many years and that even though we didn’t have a traditionally “sexual” relationship I still identified (and still do) as poly because the…

Domination Styles

Ok, so you’ve determined that you’re dominant (or perhaps a switch with a strong dominant side), now what? If you emulate porn, it’s likely you won’t keep play partners very long, since porn is based on fantasy (and making it look easy) but reality isn’t always so smooth. One of the first things you can…

What is a Kink Life Coach? What is a Kinky Sex Coach?

What is a kink life coach? What is a kinky sex coach? This is a new frontier in improving your life and sexual experiences. Sex Coaching itself is a new title, and a Kinky Sex Coach is simply a niche version. Life Coaching has been around for a while now, it’s rather unregulated but can…

Long Distance Kink – Power Play

The kink community can seem both large and small, but one thing is for sure, we’re all over the nation, and the world. It isn’t unusual for to perverts to play together at an event, make a great connection, and decide to carry on a relationship (be it D/s, service or sexual) long distance. At…

Keeping the Lust Alive – more sexy secrets about making time to connect

Sexy time can sometimes slip down the to-do list when life gets busy…so here are some tips to keep the sparks alive and your romantic motor revving. Sometimes it only takes a minute. With a sexy attitude a lot of tension can be built & expressed in only a minute or two. Run your hands…

Keeping Your Kinky Connection, Even With a Busy Schedule

Many couples that enjoy kinky sex and/ or relationship structures feel that it’s important for BDSM to not be just something that is done in the bedroom but rather as a way to live life. For others kinky sex is something fun to explore but only in the bedroom. Regardless, keeping kink in your life…

So your guy is a foot fetishist…what now?

So your guy is a foot fetishist…what now? I have to admit that foot fetishism has a special place in my heart, it was my first introduction into the BDSM world and it suddenly explained my own deeply felt response to wearing an amazing pair of shoes or seeing my toes look perfectly pedicured. First…

50 Ways to Get Started Having Kinky Sex

Here, I present to you a long list of ways to have kinkier sex. It is not by any stretch of the imagination the only ways, and some options may be obvious for some people but inspiring for others. All links go to KinkAcademy.com and PassionateU.com for video supplemental information. Just click through the waiver…

What has #BeingKinky done for you?

I have a love/hate relationship with Twitter, but one thing I do love about it is the kind of ‘crowd-source’ responses that can come through if a question is posed. One night I was thinking about all the amazing things being kinky (both personally and professionally) has done for me and wondered what other kinksters…

Expensive events, expensive gear…can you be kinky with a low (or non-existent!) budget?

I’ve been both a professional and personal kinkster for over 10 years, and I’ll admit to having a wardrobe/kinky toy fetish. Because of the professional need (and the personal enjoyment ;) I’ve acquired a huge collection of latex & leather clothing, kinky toys of all kinds including multiple floggers/whips/paddles & the like, plus a large…

Bringing Fifty Shades of Grey into Your Bedroom

There has been a lot of hype around the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. As someone who has enjoyed “kinky fuckery” for the majority of both my personal and professional lives, I found this phenomenon incredibly interesting. Some of the media coverage and article titles were as sensationalistic as would be expected “Mommy Porn Explodes!”…

My first AASECT Experience

For those of you that don’t know, AASECT (also known as American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) is a professional organization for sexuality professionals. It provides ‘certification’ in sex education as well as membership to individuals that are not yet certified (or not interested in certification) all with the purpose of learning, networking…

What’s your name? Using Pseudonyms in The Scene

“I’d like to introduce you to Lady-Mistress Catwhiskers, Supreme Being of the Universe.” “Hello there, I’m Frank.” “Greetings, I am Lord Knockerlots and this is My property, slut zisc.” These are examples of how people might introduce themselves in the Scene, examples of the wide variety of ways that kinksters identify. Names and titles have…

“Why Kink?”

“Why Kink?” I hear this question from a wide variety of people. After we’ve discussed what I do for a living, there is an inevitable pause, and the “But why would someone want to be kinky?” There are so many answers to that question that I thought it would be perfect to list a bunch…

Fess’ Up When You Fuck Up

Last year I was too attached to the outcome of a scene/performance and I acted in a way that I’m not terribly proud of. Of course it’s difficult to admit to mistakes, especially when perfectionism is something of struggle, but I think it’s important to talk about times when things don’t go as planned. It’s…

Don’t judge a Book by it’s Cover

There have been many occasions that people have shown surprise when they find out I am a professional dominatrix. “But you seem so nice!” they say, or “I couldn’t imagine you being that mean, you’re so happy.” These statements always make me laugh, and gives me an opportunity to explain that there are many ways…

On paying presenters

It has recently become a hot discussion to debate why (or why not) presenters should be paid at BDSM events. It’s interesting to see so many different perspectives on paying presenters and why it should or should not be a priority. I’ve been on this soapbox for years, but never had a proper place to…

“That” Question

“So, what did you say you do for a living?” That question, no matter how many times I’ve heard it, always makes my heart skip a beat. It is not a simple question to answer and only opens up a torrent of other questions inside my head, which causes me to pause. And the pause…

SXSW: Life Lessons From A Professional Dominatrix

When I became a Professional Dominatrix at the starry-eyed age of 22 I thought I was looking ahead at a short but exhilarating job of make-believe. That job turned into a personal mission and a career. Now, with more than a decade of foot worship, latex catsuits, leather corsets, and a stable of full time…

Thank you so much for a wonderful fun and informative class. I enjoyed how animated, creative, and engaged you were and appreciated that you offered [the class] a chance to ask questions and share experiences. I will be on the look out for more of your classes in the future!

Stormy

Thank you for a great class last night. I identify as a submissive and found the insights into the Dominants views very helpful. I feel I walked away with new tools to help with better communication and understanding in my relationships.

Ms Mode

Thank you for your class at IMsL, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'd never been to a Humiliation/Degradation class before, so I really learned a lot. The most interesting part was learning about different levels/intensities of play in the spectrum, and all the options that were available.

Cricket

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