Posts by kali
Expensive events, expensive gear…can you be kinky with a low (or non-existent!) budget?
I’ve been both a professional and personal kinkster for over 10 years, and I’ll admit to having a wardrobe/kinky toy fetish. Because of the professional need (and the personal enjoyment ;) I’ve acquired a huge collection of latex & leather clothing, kinky toys of all kinds including multiple floggers/whips/paddles & the like, plus a…
Read MoreMy first AASECT Experience
For those of you that don’t know, AASECT (also known as American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) is a professional organization for sexuality professionals. It provides ‘certification’ in sex education as well as membership to individuals that are not yet certified (or not interested in certification) all with the purpose of learning, networking…
Read MoreWhat’s your name? Using Pseudonyms in The Scene
“I’d like to introduce you to Lady-Mistress Catwhiskers, Supreme Being of the Universe.” “Hello there, I’m Frank.” “Greetings, I am Lord Knockerlots and this is My property, slut zisc.” These are examples of how people might introduce themselves in the Scene, examples of the wide variety of ways that kinksters identify. Names and titles have…
Read More“Why Kink?”
“Why Kink?” I hear this question from a wide variety of people. After we’ve discussed what I do for a living, there is an inevitable pause, and the “But why would someone want to be kinky?” There are so many answers to that question that I thought it would be perfect to list a…
Read MoreFess’ Up When You Fuck Up
Last year I was too attached to the outcome of a scene/performance and I acted in a way that I’m not terribly proud of. Of course it’s difficult to admit to mistakes, especially when perfectionism is something of struggle, but I think it’s important to talk about times when things don’t go as planned. It’s…
Read MoreDon’t judge a Book by it’s Cover
There have been many occasions that people have shown surprise when they find out I am a professional dominatrix. “But you seem so nice!” they say, or “I couldn’t imagine you being that mean, you’re so happy.” These statements always make me laugh, and gives me an opportunity to explain that there are many ways…
Read MoreOn paying presenters
It has recently become a hot discussion to debate why (or why not) presenters should be paid at BDSM events. It’s interesting to see so many different perspectives on paying presenters and why it should or should not be a priority. I’ve been on this soapbox for years, but never had a proper place…
Read More“That” Question
“So, what did you say you do for a living?” That question, no matter how many times I’ve heard it, always makes my heart skip a beat. It is not a simple question to answer and only opens up a torrent of other questions inside my head, which causes me to pause. And the pause…
Read MoreSXSW: Life Lessons From A Professional Dominatrix
When I became a Professional Dominatrix at the starry-eyed age of 22 I thought I was looking ahead at a short but exhilarating job of make-believe. That job turned into a personal mission and a career. Now, with more than a decade of foot worship, latex catsuits, leather corsets, and a stable of full time…
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