Q: I’m just starting to explore my kinks & fetishes, what should I purchase before I really know what I like? A: Start with the ‘vanilla’ items that resemble kink items such as a wooden spoon for a paddle, scarves or neckties for bondage (be sure to keep safety scissors handy to cut them off…

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If you’re starting to explore your submissive side or starting to experiment with dominance & submission in the bedroom, then there are few things that are important to keep in mind. Regardless of what any erotica or fantasy books & movies might show, there is no “one” right way to be submissive. But there are…

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I tell stories a lot. Some of my friends lovingly call it “The Kali Show” (well, at least they mostly say it lovingly!) When I meet new people, or am hanging out with friends or am teaching classes…there’s always a story to tell. I like my stories to entertain and inform and since my life…

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I’ve always been rather sexually adventurous, so when many people ask me out I got into this profession I explain that it was a rather simple stepping stone process. I remember when I first started stripping and I found it to be empowering rather than degrading. My self-confidence grew, my assertiveness grew stronger and I…

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Teaching kink is totally my high. When I get up in front of a class to present my thoughts and experiences with perversion, I get in a totally euphoric state. After teaching for so many years I’ve thought a lot about why that is, and why it is so thoroughly awesome. Growing up, it was…

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The term “fetish” is used pretty loosely these days to mean anything that really really turns someone on. But there is an official definition, and here it is… From Wikipedia.com “Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation” So when the term…

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In my experience there can be a great deal of guilt on both sides of the D/s dynamic, regardless of gender. So I’m going to do a series of articles about some of the struggles and solutions from each perspective. I presented one of my favorite ‘conceptual’ classes at Ramabo College, D/s as a Feminist…

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Sexual Consent is a hot topic these days & rightfully so. You can give & receive consent in sexy ways, keeping boundaries clear * and* keeping the sexy mood going. The most important thing is recognizing how important clear, informed consent is as a vital part of healthy sexual experiences. Making sure everyone is comfortable…

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Everyone has to start somewhere. Even if we have a naturally dominant nature, putting that to use in a D/s context can have its challenges. There are a lot of novels & fantasy stories about how ‘easily’ it all comes when someone is a “true dominant”, but this isn’t any more accurate than saying how…

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Restraints are part of a wide range of fantasies. There are a handful of reasons why restraints are so popular, one of the most frequent reasons is the release of control. Letting go of control can lead to powerful connections and powerful orgasms (even better when those are happening at the same time!). For women,…

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