Authentic Kink: Create Your Best Experience

Kinksters often have to depend on erotica and porn to learn what kink looks and feels like, but unfortunately that can create a lot of myths, misunderstandings, and accidental mistakes. BDSM is focused on activities, but just going through the motions won’t guarantee you’ll have a happy, healthy experience. It can take years (and plenty…

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I remember the very first DomCon…

I remember the very first DomCon at the Beverly Garland hotel nestled in Hollywood. I don’t remember how I first heard about DomCon but I do remember how excited I was there. I was 23 years old and had only recently discovered the BDSM world and in my usual way through myself into it and…

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Can you teach submission?

One of the reasons I love twitter is the ability to have conversation with people around the world and get inspired by what others are experiencing and talking about. So when Domina Dynasty posed this question on twitter, I was intrigued… Can you teach someone to be submissive? It’s a really interesting question and like…

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Aftercare is for Everyone!

For the first decade of my exploration in the kink scene, whenever I heard about Aftercare it was in the context of something the dominant was supposed to provide to the submissive. It was very clear, due to the tone and nature of any discussion about Aftercare that there was definitely “One Twue Way” of…

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Living in a Post 50 Shades World

In 2011, three unassuming fan fiction books were published, and before long the world had collectively lost its mind. By 2012, over 20 million copies of the books had been sold and the mainstream world was suddenly aware of kink in a brand new way.  BDSM was being discussed and debated on every morning show…

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6 Steps to a More Fulfilling Sex Life

  These ideas are meant to be simple(ish) and free (of financial need). But that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy or that it isn’t going to take any investment. It will be an investment of time, and you may find that doing the simplest thing may be more difficult that you first imagined.…

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On experts, professionals and players…

Reverend Danny Smite posted this open letter today in response to an interview with professional Humiliatrix Ceara Lynch on The Joe Rogan Experience podcast. Here are my thoughts…. Not everyone who does kink professionally feels connected to the activities on a personal level and that’s ok. I don’t think Ceara has ever identified herself as…

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Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation – Available for sale!

Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation is ready and available for sale! I am so proud of this book and I hope you enjoy it. Inside it you’ll find: The difference between embarrassment, humiliation & degradation Why kinksters enjoy consensual psychological torment Tips for communicating your desires for both dominants & submissives The…

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It’s almost ready! – a book about Erotic Humiliation

Writing a book is a really involved project. The seedling of an idea gets planted and then years may go by as you think, collect notes and brainstorm ideas to share. In my case, nearly 10 years have gone by as I’ve presented this topic dozens of times at different kink events across the country.…

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A few kinky shopping tips!

  Q: I’m just starting to explore my kinks & fetishes, what should I purchase before I really know what I like? A: Start with the ‘vanilla’ items that resemble kink items such as a wooden spoon for a paddle, scarves or neckties for bondage (be sure to keep safety scissors handy to cut them…

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