Are Money Hang-Ups Holding You Back in Findom?

Have you ever thought about why you feel the way you do about money? Maybe you feel a pang of guilt when you splurge on something nice or perhaps you feel a rush of excitement when your bank balance goes up. These feelings aren’t just random; they’re deeply rooted in our personal money stories—narratives shaped by our upbringing, experiences, and the messages we’ve absorbed about wealth and spending. These stories play a significant role in various aspects of our lives, including how we engage with financial domination.

Financial domination (or findom) is a unique kink where one person, the submissive (often called a finsub, pay pig, or cash slave), gives money or gifts to a dominant. This exchange isn’t just about the money; it’s about power, control, and the thrill of the financial transfer. However, our ability to enjoy and engage in findom is profoundly influenced by our personal history with money.

Money stories are the deeply ingrained beliefs and attitudes that individuals have about money, often shaped by their upbringing, cultural background, and personal experiences. These narratives influence how people perceive wealth, spending, saving, and financial power. In the context of findom, both dominants and submissives bring their own money stories into the dynamic, which can enhance or hinder the experience.


For Dominants

For dominants, their money stories can dictate how they perceive the value and ethics of financial domination. A dominant with a positive money story, who views money as a tool for empowerment and freedom, may find immense satisfaction and fulfillment in the findom lifestyle. They might see the financial tributes as a testament to their control and influence, reinforcing their sense of power and confidence.

Conversely, a dominant with a negative money story might struggle with guilt or discomfort when accepting money from a submissive. If they were raised with the belief that money is scarce or that taking money from others is morally wrong, these internal conflicts could detract from their enjoyment of findom. The cognitive dissonance between their ingrained beliefs and their actions in the findom dynamic can lead to stress and dissatisfaction.


For Submissives

If you grew up in an environment where money was a source of stress or conflict, you might carry anxiety and a scarcity mindset into adulthood. This mindset can make the concept of giving away money, especially for pleasure or submission, feel uncomfortable or even irresponsible. The anxiety rooted in a fear of not having enough can override the potential excitement and fulfillment that findom might offer.

Conversely, if your financial background is one of abundance or if you’ve been taught that money is a tool for empowerment and enjoyment, you might find the idea of financial domination intriguing and liberating. The act of giving away money could feel like an expression of power and freedom, aligning perfectly with the dynamics of findom. For these individuals, financial transactions in a dom-sub relationship can be a thrilling assertion of their ability to control their own wealth and derive pleasure from it.


How Money Relates to Self-Worth

Moreover, our early experiences with money can affect our perception of worth and value. If you’ve been raised with the belief that your worth is tied to your financial status, engaging in findom can bring up complex feelings. As a submissive, giving money might challenge your sense of self-worth, making the experience either intensely exhilarating or deeply uncomfortable. On the flip side, as a dominant, receiving money could boost your sense of value, reinforcing a powerful self-image that can enhance the dynamics of the relationship.

It’s also essential to consider the psychological implications of money as a taboo. Many people grow up with the notion that discussing or flaunting wealth is inappropriate or even shameful. This taboo can create a barrier to enjoying findom, as it revolves around the very open and explicit exchange of money for power and pleasure. For those who can move past this taboo, the act of financial submission or domination can feel liberating, a rebellious embrace of a previously forbidden act.


The Role of Financial Empowerment

One of the significant aspects of findom for dominants is the sense of financial empowerment it can provide. For some, especially those from marginalized communities or those who have faced financial struggles, the influx of money through findom can be transformative. It can offer a sense of security and independence that enhances their overall quality of life and reinforces their dominant persona.

For example, a findom who grew up in poverty might find profound joy and validation in the financial control they exert over their submissives. The ability to command money from others can be a powerful counter-narrative to their past struggles, symbolizing triumph over financial adversity.


Consider Your Money Stories to Improve Your FinDom Experience

Understanding and acknowledging our money stories can be the first step towards engaging more fully and authentically in financial domination. If you’re curious about findom but feel hesitant, take a moment to reflect on your financial history. 

Ask yourself: What messages did I receive about money growing up? How do those messages influence my feelings about giving or receiving money? By identifying and unpacking these narratives, you can start to reshape your relationship with money, creating space for new experiences and pleasures.

For those already immersed in findom, ongoing reflection on your money stories can deepen your understanding and enjoyment of the practice. Recognizing how your financial past influences your present can help you navigate the complexities of findom with greater awareness and intentionality, enhancing both your personal satisfaction and your dynamic with your partner.


In the end, our money stories are powerful narratives that shape many aspects of our lives, including our sexual and relational dynamics. By bringing these stories to light, we can transform our relationship with money from one of unconscious influence to one of conscious choice, opening the door to new forms of pleasure and connection. 

Whether you’re just dipping your toes into findom or are already well-versed, understanding your money story is key to unlocking the full potential of this unique and thrilling kink.


Interested in learning more about how your money stories are impacting your findom experiences? Join me for the upcoming FinDom Philosophy: Virtual Intensive, which can help you let go of money stories that aren’t working for you so that you can embrace more findom success!