6 Steps to a More Fulfilling Sex Life

blindfold couple 1 smallThese ideas are meant to be simple(ish) and free (of financial need). But that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy or that it isn’t going to take any investment. It will be an investment of time, and you may find that doing the simplest thing may be more difficult that you first imagined. But the rewards of your effort will be gratifying both physically and emotionally as you discover more pleasure than you may have thought you could experience.

  1. Evaluate Your Needs Honestly – It’s practically impossible to get what you want if you don’t even know what you want. So taking the time to really sit down with yourself (and/or your partner) and exploring what your desires and needs are will be the first step to finding more satisfaction and getting more pleasure out of your sexual life. Write out your needs, don’t just list them in your head. Seeing the words on paper makes them more real and more realistic to go after.
  1. Fine Tune Your Communication – You may already be able to talk about some of your sexual needs, or perhaps neither of you ever talk about it at all, but either way, whatever you’re doing now isn’t working for you. So rather than just telling you to communicate, I’m suggesting that you innovate the way you communicate. Find new and alternative ways to express your needs that will inspire deeper revelations about yourself. Use emails, or a notebook as a way to communicate without being face to face
  1. Stay Connected – Finding ways to stay connected sexually during life’s busy schedule is super important. Not just chatting about what you did that day, or complaining about some annoying co-worker, but connecting on a specifically sexual level. Inspiring sensuality in yourself and in your partner is one of the best ways to turn around a bad day or make a good day even better! Use physical touch, take a few minutes to make out in the middle of the day, or even squeeze in a quickie!
  1. Structure Adds Spontaneity – With the way that modern life is set up we are faced with a sad conundrum. Do we “schedule” our sex lives until it becomes just another task on our to-do lists? Or do we wait for “passion” to strike and discover that at 1am when you both fall into bed there just isn’t any more energy to make that sexual spark actually happen. I say that there is a happy medium that can set you up for successful sexual adventures both with respect to busy schedules and the needs for spontaneity. Commit to at least one night a week for a date night (or even once a month) or have a ‘Sexy Sunday’ to explore your dominant and submissive selves.
  1. Explore New Activities – We all have a list of long-time favorites, but it’s a good way to keep things fresh by finding other activities you might enjoy together. Take it one at a time so neither of you feels overwhelmed and you can each see exactly how you feel about the new activity before adding it to your repertoire. Perhaps you might incorporate more verbal play than usual, or during a bondage session give role-play a try.
  1. Commit to Improving Your Sexual Well-Being – Just like creating any new habit, you have to make the commitment to yourself (and your partner) to follow through on your sexual adventure. That you won’t get down on yourself when you aren’t a ‘perfect lover’ but that you continue to try your best every day. Know that with a healthy sexual identity, confidence and happiness in other aspects of your life will improve as well.

Keeping the Lust Alive – more sexy secrets about making time to connect

Couple Relaxing In Bed Wearing PajamasSexy time can sometimes slip down the to-do list when life gets busy…so here are some tips to keep the sparks alive and your romantic motor revving.

Sometimes it only takes a minute. With a sexy attitude a lot of tension can be built & expressed in only a minute or two. Run your hands over each other when no-one’s looking. Be affectionate, make a point to say good-by and hello with a kiss, while looking into each-others eyes.

Eyes really are windows into our soul, and sometimes those windows are red with lust. Let your eye contact linger, give your partner a seductive look and hold their stare. Think sexy thoughts as you’re looking at each other, and you’ll both feel your eyes (and bodies) getting hungrier for each other..

With a moment of privacy you can whisper sexy sweet nothings into each others ears with your bodies pressed together. Whisper about the naughty evening you have planned, or a quickie fantasy, or a memory of a particularly hot moment. Feel the softness of lips on ears, and a little nibble (not to hard!) can emphasize your erotic whisper.

When you’re in bed in the moments before sleep, you don’t have to have the time or energy for full hanging by the rafters sex. A lengthy and luxurious make-out session, with no expectation of continuing the play can be relaxing and intimate…plus it’s working with the time, space & energy that you have!

Remembering to look at each other as lovers and intimate partners in your naughty ‘crimes’. Having a great sex life (which means different things to different people) helps you feel closer to your partner and more desired generally, which is great for your sexual confidence.

So with the holidays & all the rushing around that’s going on, take just a moment or two to make that spark, which will then happen a lot faster when you actually have a bit longer to play.