Bawdy Storytelling – The Defiant Balloons

I tell stories a lot.

Some of my friends lovingly call it “The Kali Show” (well, at least they mostly say it lovingly!)

When I meet new people, or am hanging out with friends or am teaching classes…there’s always a story to tell. I like my stories to entertain and inform and since my life is filled with wacky experiences, I have plenty of stories to pick from!

Last Tuesday I was invited to tell a story at the Friday night Bawdy, so of course I said yes! Ever since I moved back to the Bay Area I’ve been looking forward to pitching a story to Bawdy, and when Dixie, the charismatic founder, said the theme would be “Risky Business” I knew the exact story to tell.

Even though I wasn’t able to make it to the dress rehearsal, I was incredibly impressed with the before-show info that Dixie shared. She sent me a super simple but extremely effective ‘storyboard’ tool to help me plot out the steps in the story to make sure I didn’t get distracted and lose my place. Usually I’m a rather organic storyteller so this one page of putting the details down gave me a great outline to follow once I was up on stage.

Since I joined the event on a slightly last minute basis I already had a commitment later in the evening, so Dixie scheduled me as the first story-teller. Thankfully I got there just in time for the night to begin!

The venue is simple and stylish with a bar and a stage and plenty of space for the audience. The room was packed with pretty much all the seats filled and even more people standing in the back. Dixie really does a fantastic job getting the audience ready and even giving some ‘coaching’ on how to be a great audience. I’ve never seen the technique and it was brilliant! There were a lot of newbies in attendance, the vibe was super supportive & excited for the fun.

After an amusing song (Bi-Curious George) by John Woods of the Wet Spots, it was my turn to get on stage.

(the video focuses after the first 30 seconds or so!)

I tried so hard to stay within the 10 minute time-frame, and I would have if I’d have actually STOPPED at the end of the story, but the educator in me felt the need to crystallize the lesson I learned from the experience. I really do love telling a good story, but I almost always feel compelled for it to have a ‘point’, like Aesop’s Fables or something!

Thank you so much to Dixie, to everyone involved with Bawdy Storytelling and to the fantastic audience. Next time I’ll plan my entire evening around it so I can stay and enjoy everyone until the end!

Fess’ Up When You Fuck Up

Frustrated and angry woman screamingLast year I was too attached to the outcome of a scene/performance and I acted in a way that I’m not terribly proud of. Of course it’s difficult to admit to mistakes, especially when perfectionism is something of struggle, but I think it’s important to talk about times when things don’t go as planned. It’s the best way to make sure that unsafe behavior doesn’t happen again. It’s human to make mistakes, it’s enlightened to try and learn from them.

Going into Iron Slut (run by the oh so fabulous Reid Mihalko) I wasn’t sure exactly what I was getting into. Most of the other people who had participated in it before that I knew were sex performers, while as I am someone who expresses sex through kink. I wanted to make sure that the audience understood (and would still be satisfied) even if I didn’t perform a radical sex act on stage.

Trying to think of a way to “wow” the crowd while respecting my own boundaries, I came up with the idea to use a newly acquired (well, still acquiring) skill of double single tail whips while popping a couple of balloons off a rubber banded dick. Like a kinky circus act. Fantastically fun idea, however it arrived a tad to late for me to actually practice before heading to the event.

I’m confident in my whipping skills, though the double aspect is rather new. I assumed that I would be able to figure it out on the spot (I tend to be fairly good at that).

However, the lack of preparation resulted in a less than desirable performance. Popping the balloons became my entire focus, rather than engaging the audience (who had paid to come to an educational experience). Then at the end, popping those balloons became paramount, even above safety. I was determined to pop that second balloon. My swings started to get wilder and with more force behind them. I did the exact thing that I always warn against in my classes, which is swing from the shoulder for the mere strength of it. Because when you do that, your aim suffers. The human person that I was playing with faded into the background of my mind, and my need to pop the balloon (and therefore complete the task I had set for my performance) was all that was in my focus. As a result, a few stray strikes hit his skin in places that I would usually go to great lengths to avoid.

I’m grateful that I was playing with a really wonderful bottom, someone I’ve known for almost a decade and who trusted my skills. I am grateful that he stood like a rock while I attacked that defiant balloon, and I’m grateful that the audience safeworded on me to help shake me out of the need of completion. I most especially grateful that he was not actually ‘hurt’ in any way due to my mistaken mindset.

I take the safety of the submissives that I play with very seriously. But I am human, and even though I’ve been doing this full time, for a very long time, I still make mistakes. Ultimately it was not an overly dangerous mistake and the lightly marked bottom felt entirely fine about it. But it was an important reminder for me not to EVER lose focus on the person that I’m playing with, even when there’s a performance aspect of it. And the lesson I hope to share, whether you act out your fantasies at public dungeons or in the privacy of your own homes. Dominants & Tops need to always be vigilant to be worthy of the trust that is placed in us. Don’t get so attached to the outcome of a scene that you lose track of the journey and of the safety of those that are a part of our fantasies and experiences.