Man and womanThere has been a lot of hype around the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. As someone who has enjoyed “kinky fuckery” for the majority of both my personal and professional lives, I found this phenomenon incredibly interesting. Some of the media coverage and article titles were as sensationalistic as would be expected “Mommy Porn Explodes!” & “Is middle America getting kinky?” and others along those lines. It was even on the cover of Time magazine.

Many of the articles written by sexuality educators and sex bloggers tore the book apart, and frankly the first review of the book that I wrote was pretty ferociously against the “horribly written and almost entirely inaccurate portrayal of Dominance and submission” that the book portrayed. I haven’t posted that review, mostly because I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about the whole trend.

Although most of My colleagues were horrified by the idea, I forced myself to read all three. The writing was sophomoric and repetitive, any avid reader would comment on that. The sex scenes weren’t exactly inspired, especially for a connoisseur of erotica. But I’ve come to realize that the 50 Shades trilogy is the modern edition of the “romance novel” that has been enjoyed for decades. Women are proven to enjoy reading about the intricacies of how a sexual experience develops rather than just a visual with no story line. Erotica allows each reader to create their own version in their head, which is just plain hot.

For a part of society (aka “middle America”) that hasn’t had a sexual revolution of any kind in years, it’s not that surprising that these books have become a sensation. They are the “sex books” that society says it’s ok to read, because everyone else is doing it (and not only that but they’re talking about it!). For that I am grateful to the discussion that these books have driven and even more surprisingly are still driving. Even on the tail end of all the hype, people are still reading, still interested and still inspired.

That is by far the greatest gifts these books have given America. Inspiration to talk about, as well as enjoy a more creative sex life. A sex life with more passion, although it’s a rare couple that can keep up with Ana & Christian’s 5 times a day sex count! In my opinion anytime a woman feels freer to talk about their own desires, even though a device such as these books, their life is going to get better and so are their partners. A healthier and more connected sex life improves overall health. It’s a fact.

So today, as I was reading yet another article about 50 Shades I realized that I have something special to offer those women and couples that have been inspired to enjoy a little “kinky fuckery” in their own lives. Many of those that have found themselves at the end of the books (perhaps after the 12th time they’ve been read) there may be a bit of uncertainty about how to implement all these “kinky” things that are turning on new desires. That’s where I can help. I’ve been coaching individuals & couples to explore kink at their own level, in their own interests for more than a decade. In fact I particularly love working with new sexual adventurers. I own and run a website called which covers a very large breadth of kinky interests, but that may be too intense for someone who’s just starting.

What’s really needed is a gentle introduction into how to incorporate the hottest part of your new fantasies into the bedroom. How to actually put them into play if you’ve never delved into Dominance & submission, or more intense sensation play (ie spanking, light bondage, tickling, etc).

The books are a great starting off place, but if you are interested in actually experiencing what you read about it 50 Shades of Grey (maybe a little less, maybe a little more…) then I can help you with that. My personal coaching sessions are designed for just such a thing. After spending $30 or more on the books, doesn’t it make sense to invest a little more to learn how to put it into play in the bedroom? Learn how to keep things hot in an already established relationship or learn how to ask for what you want in a future relationship. In fact I can even help you figure out exactly what it IS that you want.

Check out my Coaching page to read more about my philosophy, and when you’re ready to make the leap and really & truly improve your sexual experiences for the rest of your life, check out my Services page to see what package would be right for you.

I look forward to helping you enjoy all the kinky fuckery you want and to your own feelings described in the Red Room even if you don’t have a mansion of an apartment to create one in!

ps – you can also see a great tongue-in-cheek parody of the books by Saturday Night Live here!

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