Teaching Kink is like a Soulgasm

woman sparklersinhandsTeaching kink is totally my high. When I get up in front of a class to present my thoughts and experiences with perversion, I get in a totally euphoric state. After teaching for so many years I’ve thought a lot about why that is, and why it is so thoroughly awesome.

Growing up, it was obvious to me that good girls didn’t really talk about sex, and that bad girls did. And that being a bad girl definitely sounded more fun. I have spent most of my life knowing that the world felt that I was being “inappropriate” whenever I talked about sex, or said sexual words, or acted in sexually curious way. But thankfully I have also spent most of life knowing that “the world” doesn’t always know what’s best.

I’ve always loved the way that people open up to me about their inner most thoughts and desires. That’s heavy stuff, and I feel honored that people feel like they can trust me not to judge them. Because I don’t judge. I mean, I do judge what I personally want to engage in, and which experiences I might personally enjoy. But I DON’T judge whether I think that person is right or wrong to enjoy what they enjoy. As long as it’s between consenting, conscientious adults, then my philosophy is truly, “go for it!”

When I teach to groups, sometimes the class is filled with new adventurers, and some-times it’s filled with those that consider themselves to be a “seen that, done that” crowd. But either way, it’s a challenge for me, and it’s a challenge that really pumps me up.

Anyone who’s seen me teach knows how excited I get. In fact I frequently start the class with a joke about what a happy wiggling little pervert I am. I actually get breathless with the excitement of sharing my positive experiences with groups of people who might then go out and feel a little (or a lot!) better about enjoying what they do. To teach is to learn, and both are incredibly joyful for me. Teaching others continuously inspires me, and it’s an up-lifting experience to also inspire others.

The comment I receive most frequently after my classes is that my enthusiasm is infectious and appreciated (the only time when being called infectious is a good thing ;). I have a very spontaneous style, and even though I always have extensive notes, (easier to steer back from tangents that way!) it is important to me to let the classes happen organically too. I tell stories, I answer questions, I encourage comments. I am both an entertainer and an educator, because I believe that when people are having fun, they learn more. And just as importantly, that if I’m not having fun, then I certainly can’t expect my audience to.

Which why I go into each and every presentation with the express intent of sharing just how much fun this kinky stuff can be. I want to show that it can go far, far beyond the bedroom. It can build self confidence, and emotional intimacy. It can stretch the imagination, and the expectations & assumptions we all have about ourselves and our partners. I get to share that with people on a regular basis, and it’s taught me one thing for certain. That my most treasured experience, and life’s mission is helping others find creativity & acceptance in their sexual proclitivities. Which is why I get in such a tizzy when I’m teaching. It’s like a soul orgasm.

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