Living in a post 50 Shades world

50ShadesofGreyCoverArtIn 2011, three unassuming fan fiction books were published, and before long the world had collectively lost its mind.

 

By 2012, over 20 million copies of the books had been sold and the mainstream world was suddenly aware of kink in a brand new way.  BDSM was being discussed and debated on every morning show and in every late night monologue.  Kink had become part of the mainstream cultural vernacular in a way that couldn’t be ignored.

At that point I had been a professional dominatrix for more than 10 years, based in Boston, a city that was culturally buttoned up, yet harbored a large underground population of kinksters. Though I was mostly retired (to focus on my educational project KinkAcademy.com), I still had a strong affiliation with professional domination; it has loomed large as part of my personal identity.

In my pre-50-shades life,  when I would attend a party or BBQ, and the conversation would inevitably turn to “what do you do for a living,” I would respond with “I’m a kink educator and professional dominatrix!”  No matter how much the conversation had been humming along up until that point, no matter how tittilated the more vanilla folks at the party would be (and truth be told: the more vanilla they were, the more tittilated they would be), they would quickly find an excuse to turn away from the conversation. At least that was before the kinky books that rocked the world showed up on the scene.

But oh, how living in a post-50 Shades world has altered this exchange. As someone who’s life included “full immersion perversion” (aka my career was centered around BDSM and so were my personal relationships), I’m in a position to have to talk about kink much more than the average private player. But now when I share my career history (I’ve been retired for nearly 5 years), instead of dismay and confusion, I’m met with enthusiasm.  Inevitably someone invokes Christian and Anastasia…

“Oh! You mean like in 50 Shades of Grey?”

“Are those books.. you know.. Real?”

“You must like…. What did you think of…. Was your experience just like…”

This now universal response brings up mixed feelings for me. These books caused quite an uproar in the kinky community, with bloggers denouncing it as dangerous and the worst thing to happen to BDSM since Paddleboro. Kinksters I know would huff and puff when the books would come up at events, and the eye-rolls couldn’t get any harder. The BDSM Community as a whole were at best unimpressed with all the “lookie-loos” the books were bringing to local dungeons and kinky events.

But from the get-go, I couldn’t help but see the benefit to these books.

There are plenty of kinksters who have a distinct interest in keeping the BDSM world on the edge of society; they prefer it to retain its underground, ‘dangerous’ vibe. These kinksters are most attracted to the taboo aspect of kink, the deviance of being a “pervert” in the more traditional sense of the word. Frankly they’re pissed that mainstream culture is intruding on their private playspace.

But there are also many who, like me, see how kink being more understood in the mainstream world could create a lot of positives. For example, there are too many people deep in custody battles, where kinky activity is used to discredit one of the parents.  There are those who suffer from intense fear that accompanies the risk of being outed as a leather-lover.  The fact that a good number of people no longer have to hide their head in shame and fear, or suffer the consequences of ignorance, is a good thing for which – I have to say it – we can thank the 50-shades phenomenon.

In 2016, we live in a Post-50-Shades world. I for one am grateful we do.

Now that I’m moving more into the mainstream world, and expanding my speaking career, it’s become an especially big help for your average citizen to have some kind of a reference point for my past, even if that reference requires a bit of.. unpacking. When the book is brought up, it gives me an opportunity to share a more well-informed perspective. I point out that the books are intended as erotica, similarly to long-published Harlequin novels. That a Harlequin romance with a storyline about pirates and sailing the open seas is just as useful as a how-to guide for taking the helm of a galleon as 50 Shades is an instruction manual for kink.

In fact, my first large mainstream event presentation was at SXSW 2013 titled “The 50 Shades Phenomenon;”  it was well attended and well received. This was the largest opportunity I had to talk to an audience that wasn’t intrinsically kink-focused, and start to share what the BDSM world has taught me outside of the bedroom.

I’ve learned about setting and enforcing personal boundaries, both emotional and physical, and my communication skills in general have skyrocketed. I’ve learned to tap into confidence and inner power in order to achieve what I want in life. It’s helped me be more self-aware and more disciplined. And it’s allowed me to have incredibly creative relationships and experiences.

Since I’ve been retired from the professional world for the last five years, my ability to branch out has expanded tremendously and I can’t help but credit the Fifty Shades series with helping to make that possible.

So while the obsession with the series itself has died down temporarily, the conversation about BDSM have changed forever. And I have no doubt that as the second and third movies are released there will be even more opportunities to educate the public about how awesome kink is, which can only lead to more public understanding, which likely leads to a safer world for the kink-identified, and ultimately for all manner of sexual identity & expression.

 

*Vanilla is a term some kinksters use to describe non-kinky people. It’s used in the same context as ‘muggle’ for Harry Potter fans, or civilians for military enthusiasts.

On paying presenters

But in a pencil word bubbleIt has recently become a hot discussion to debate why (or why not) presenters should be paid at BDSM events. It’s interesting to see so many different perspectives on paying presenters and why it should or should not be a priority. I’ve been on this soapbox for years, but never had a proper place to write my thoughts, but now I do! So here you go…

1) Teaching really is a skill that is SEPARATE from whatever kinky activity or concept being taught. Someone who might be really really good at flogging (for a basic example) might not know how to break down the why’s and how’s of being really really good at flogging. That makes a huge difference between a class & a performance. When people come to a class they want to *learn* something that they can then use. When people go to a performance they’re content to just watch someone show off a skill. I find that frequently the two are confused.

2) There ARE events and business that pay for services. When I launched Kink Academy it was exceptionally important for me to offer payment plus a 50% affiliate program for educators so they could *continue* to profit from their involvement on the site. When I first started I actually had to talk some presenters into taking the money (because they said it was their community service). This decision was based on integrity and I’ve always said that integrity is the most expensive personality trait, but it’s worth EVERY PENNY.

3) I fully agree with the statements about how someone is willing to pay hundreds of dollars for a toy (which is not a dig at toy makers, they have a right to profit from their hard work too) but won’t pay $25 for a class to learn how to use it properly. Just take a look around at any public dungeon and you’ll see people with a huge bag of toys and little visible skills and you’ll see how prevalent that is. I’ve struggled with this on Kink Academy too. If I had $5 for every time I was told that I should be offering the site for free, well, I’d actually have money in my pocket by now.

4) Value should beget value. What I bring (and what Mo brings and so many others) to the table is valuable. For a community that is so big on ENERGY EXCHANGE it’s always been fascinating to me that the same concept doesn’t hold true for education.

5) I believe that “profit” is one of the dirtiest words in the BDSM community. I’ve seen people work themselves into outrage by the IDEA that someone is trying to make a living in the kink world. As a ProDomme I was frequently insulted for charging for sessions. As the founder of educational websites that charge an incredibly reasonable fee for the amount of information inside, I have been told that I’m trying to “make money off the community”. As a community we are still stuck back in the days where almost everything was run by volunteers, but we are no longer at the stage of development AS a community. The sheer numbers of people who have discovered the BDSM world through the internet makes it nearly impossible to service without charging *something* for the events, toys, presenters etc.

6) I also agree with the idea that it’s perfectly appropriate to set your own fee’s and then simply decline events that can not meet them. I know full well that decision will limit the number of events that a presenter would go to, but it’s worth it if, together, we presenters stuck to it. Events would be forced to change their structure simply because they wouldn’t be able to have enough skilled & well known presenters to teach.

Ok, so this is quite long enough (perhaps more than enough :) but it is a topic I am passionate about.

Support the Kink Economy people and you’ll see the quality of your own experiences raise above and beyond the amount of money you’ve spent!

Reference posts

Mollena on Fetlife – https://fetlife.com/users/10180

Mollena’s Blog post – http://www.mollena.com/2012/05/why-you-should-pay-me/

http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2012/05/09/of-fame-and-money-on-paying-bdsm-presenters/

 

 

Our Fourth Couples Session with Princess Kali

A Note From Kali: This is a story/description of an ‘inter-active’ session I had with a wonderful couple a few years ago. I’m currently only offering ‘coaching’ sessions which don’t include all of the interactive activities described below.

The story gives explicit descriptions and does include some edgy/taboo activities including: intense impact play, erotic humiliation, piss play, electricity and bondage. ALL activities were performed with informed consent by adults well over the age of 18.

My Lady and I had scheduled another couples’ session with Princess Kali, this time at her new play space. We always look forward to these sessions with great excitement and anticipation, as each time we have gone, the experience seems to get better and more intense, and the after affects on our relationship seem to get more powerful. This visit was to be our fourth, but the first time we were going to have all of the benefits of the space and equipment available at the new location.

I knew that my Lady wanted to work on bringing in more humiliation training into our play and that she was also in the mood to serve up quite a beating with her mentor and new friend. We spent some time in advance talking about humiliation play as one of the things that has always made my domme so special and our relationship so incredible is the level of communication we share. She always takes the time to understand how each thing that she does affects me both physically and emotionally and that always leads to more exciting and rewarding play.

Lady C spoke to Princess Kali over the phone and they both agreed to spend some time up front talking about needs, wants, limitations and expectations. The choice to do this led to one of the most incredible sessions of domination and submission of my life.

We ran into a little traffic on the drive to the new playspace and called in advance to warn Princess Kali that we would be a few minutes late. She was very understanding, though I question if that would have been the case if I had been on my own rather than with My Lady. Lady C needed to go to the bathroom so I dropped her off, parked the car, and went to the front of the Academy where Princess Kali greeted me at the door.

Her generous nature and friendly approach is very disarming and hides her wicked and sadistic sides when you first see her. I entered the Academy, lay out Lady C’s implements and toys and was sent to the bathroom to undress and await my orders. Princess Kali wanted to spend some time speaking to Lady C alone and then speaking with me. We were exploring humiliation play, a new area for us, and Princess Kali was going to help us make the most of this new venue.

When it was my turn, I was summoned out of the bathroom and ordered to kneel before Princess Kali as she asked me questions. Her goal was to understand what drove my psyche from different angles of my submission. The questions she asked were intelligent, her interpretations were insightful. She was very quick to pick up on things and interpret what they would mean and how they might impact our play. She would ask a few deeper questions of me when needed to be sure she was reading me correctly. She also recognized that as a submissive, on my knees, I would be reluctant to demonstrate strong opinions, and found ways to encourage me to be completely honest. She was masterful in her approach and incredibly on target in her conclusions, the most wonderful of which was the understanding that My Lady and I were a perfect match, that she was the Ying to my Yang, that my needs for submission were perfectly complimentary to her needs for power and control. When the conversation ended and she shared her conclusions with me, my heart soared and my respect for her grew even greater. I realized in that moment that this woman is truly exceptional in the breadth and depth of her understanding of dominance and submission.

Lady C came out to join us and Princess Kali shared some of her conclusions with My Lady before ordering me to greet them both by kissing their feet before she signaled the beginning of my true submission by locking a collar around my neck. Lady C brought her a leash and I was quickly converted into a puppy.

“You are now our puppy and you are not to speak or make any human sounds. Instead you are to bark, one bark for yes and two barks for no. Do you understand?” Princess Kali asked.

I barked once in response to demonstrate my comprehension. Princess Kali proceeded to do something that would have a profound affect on me from that moment until I would hear the words ‘you are no longer a puppy’. She took out a large can of dog food and showed it to me, then proceeded to explain that if I did not obey their commands completely, they would make me eat the dog food. She also explained that there was nothing in it that would harm me or make me sick, and reiterated that I should have not doubts that they were capable of insuring my compliance.

The impact of this realization was very deep. I felt an immediate revulsion to the idea of actually being made to eat the dog food and recognized that I would do anything I could to please these two women in order to avoid this consequence. It was a powerful recognition, one that drove me to a deep level of submission.

I was ordered to wag my tail as Princess Kali handed the leash to Lady C and I was made to crawl along the floor behind her. She first walked over to the stage where all of her implements were laid out for her. Lady C picked up one of her crops, gave me two solid whacks on my naked and exposed ass, and began training me to heel. The fear of the threat of the dog food combined with the sting of the crop had me obeying completely. I was made to follow My Lady around the room several times and then led to the front of a very large dog cage.

“Get inside the cage puppy,” Princess Kali commanded. The instructions were emphasized by Lady C with several hard strokes from the riding crop and I quickly found myself inside of the cage with the door closed behind me.

“Turn around puppy,” ordered Princess Kali.

Though the cage was large, it was not easy to maneuver inside of it and there was just enough room for me to turn around to face the front. They proceeded to tease me and humiliate me verbally, telling me how I had better be a good puppy if I didn’t want to have to eat dog food. Princess Kali picked up her favorite little electric zapper and reaching through the cage, shocked the exposed flesh on my ass a few times, making me twitch and jump around to the laughter and amusement of the two dommes.

Princess Kali then produced a large dog bowl which I imagined she would fill with the dog food. I felt my stomach churning with revulsion as I seemed to be able to smell it even though the can had not been opened. Instead, they had something even more diabolical planned.

“Puppy must be thirsty,” Princess Kali stated, and Lady C picked up a squeeze bottle which she had earlier filled with her pee. She proceeded to pour some of the yellow liquid into the dog bowl, which they placed inside the cage in front of me.

“You are to lap it all up like a thirsty little puppy!” Princess Kali demanded.

I could not imagine doing this, but realized that the consequences of refusing to do so would be dire indeed. I knew that I had no choice and that one way or another, these two incredible dommes would have their way with me, so I leaned over the bowl. The pee smelled very strong and the humiliation of having to lap up my mistress’ piss was intense and made worse by my ability to see it in the bowl. I stuck out my tongue and tasted the bitter liquid. As I repeated the act, I realized that it would take a very long time to drink it all this way. Princess Kali knew this and pointed out the powerful nature of prolonging the humiliation and suffering that this method would cause. They both seemed to enjoy watching me at first, but eventually focused their discussion on different ways to humiliate me, all the while that I lapped at the bitter piss.

At first, it seemed as if I would never be able to lick it all up as the amount of liquid in the bowl appeared the same, but eventually, I could see the progress and was able to lick out the last drop. I realized that is was an interesting dynamic that given the choice of lapping up piss or eating dog food, I chose the former. It was a brilliantly dominant way to humiliate me. The feelings of complete and intense submission were deep, and created a connection with my domme that seemed to be even more powerful than ever before.

Satisfied with my total compliance and humiliation, Princess Kali let me out of the cage and removed my collar. I was made to kiss each of their feet.

“You are no longer a Puppy,” Princess Kali told me, releasing me from emotional bonds that she had placed on me when the collar was first put around my neck. I had, for this time, managed to avoid the threat of being forced to eat dog food. I wondered if I would be able to do so the next time.

The advantage, however, of being forced to behave as their dog, was that during that time, pain was only used to force compliance and obedience. By releasing me from my dog collar and returning to my human self, pain would be delivered simply for their own pleasure, making my predicament much more dangerous. This was especially true because both Lady C and Princess Kali had a very real sadistic streak, and causing pain through my torture seemed to get them both sexually excited. I was taken to a different wing of the playspace, and I was in trouble.

The room itself was fraught with danger for a slave. The environment was dungeon-like and walking in to the room was both frightening and exciting at once. My mind was in a submissive trance that carried over from the emotional intensity of the puppy training and would not clear completely until perhaps an hour after the end of the session. I cannot recall everything that I saw in the dungeon, but what I do remember was that in the center of the room there was what appeared to be a leather table with a circular hole toward one end that was a little larger than a human head. The table was mounted on top of a heavy steel cage, similar to the cages that might be used to transport a circus tiger. In one of the corners there was a large, steel X-frame, which I thought I heard Princess Kali describe as a St. Andrews cross. The purpose was clearly to bind a victim by either their arms or even their arms and ankles so that they would be helpless to protect or defend themselves from whatever torment the domme might decide to inflict on their poor flesh. Against the opposite wall, there was a leather spanking horse. By the end of the evening, I would become very familiar with how helpless each one of these devices could make me feel.

There were leather cuffs, whips, paddles, crops, clamps and many other devices and implements for inflicting pain that were all too readily accessible for the dommes to choose from. I soon found myself with each wrist bound to the St. Andrews cross and Princess Kali went off to find the specific whips that she wanted. Lady C placed a pair of long, thin, clamps on my nipples. Each clamp had two metal bars which were held together at the ends. Each bar was placed on one side of the nipple, with the tension being adjusted by sliding each of two bands closer and closer to the center causing intense pressure on my flesh. The nipples would then be exposed for further torture, which Lady C was happy to apply with her nails. When she heard my moans of pain, My Lady added a ball gag, completing my sense of helplessness.

The two dommes proceeded to give me one of the most intense beatings of my life. The beating started with dragon tails, as first Lady C and then Princess Kali snapped the whips against my helplessly exposed flesh. I could feel the difference in the way each of them wielded the implement, and many of the blows landed with a stinging snap that caused intense pain and left marks that would last for weeks. They took their time and were very obviously having a lot of fun at my expense.

“It’s too bad there is no mirror in front of you so you could see the smiles on our faces.” Princess Kali commented. I wondered if it would make the experience more erotic or more frightening if I could actually see what was coming. The dragon tail beating was intense and left me constantly at the edge of my pain tolerances. I was well past my normal limits. They used different types of whips and floggers on me but I could not see them and focused on getting through the pain rather than identifying the specific implement that was being applied.

At one point, they decided to add to my discomfort by attaching a metal clamp to by balls and hanging a weight from it. I was very fortunate that the weight was not too heavy, but there was a constant reminder on my balls, especially when one of the whips landed in a way that caused enough movement to make the weight swing.

They moved from the dragon tail to the single tail and Lady C left line after line of the whip on my ass. Her aim was very good and the pain built up over the course of fifty or sixty blows. Princess Kali stepped up with her single tail. I found myself dancing with every throw that landed and tried to get through the pain by imagining the joy on their faces from my torment. In between implements, Lady C and Princess Kali would approach me and pinch my nipples. Princess Kali would squeeze with her fingers and Lady C with her nails. The intensity was completely different as Lady C was hurting me and Princess Kali’s touch was almost erotic. The pain had been intense, but soon this part of the ordeal was over as I was released from the cross, the weight removed and the clamp taken off of my balls.

They pulled the spanking horse away from the wall and made me position my body across it. The device was shaped like a saw horse with side runners, all covered with padded leather. There were hooks conveniently built into it so that cuffs or rope could be attached in ways to position the helpless victim in the desired position of vulnerability. I was made to kneel on the runners, straddling the inverted ‘V’ shaped top, and lean forward with the weight of my torso supported by the point of the ‘V’. With the clamps still on my nipples, I needed to be very careful as to the placement of my chest so that the long metal strips would not get caught on the padded leather.

Princess Kali placed cuffs on my wrists and ankles then attached them to the horse. I was incredibly helpless to whatever assault they might want to bestow on me, but they wanted me to experience some further humiliation before reinitiating the beating. Lady C removed the gag and brought her squeeze bottle to my face. She had recently made another trip to the bathroom and filled it completely. She held it up to my mouth and force fed me her piss as Princess Kali looked on. She seemed to take extra delight in watching closely this act of complete power and humiliation and continuously teased me about how it must taste and how I was a ‘pissy face’.

“Don’t you dare let any spill on my dungeon floor,” she exclaimed. Given my totally vulnerable position and acute awareness of the variety of weapons of torture lying within a few feet, I felt the fear course through my body and wrapped my lips a little tighter around the top of the bottle.

“That’s enough for now,” Lady C stated with a smile. “We’ll save the rest for you to drink later.”

She put down the bottle and returned with her Lexan cane. I was not expecting her to start with this implement as she usually leaves it for the end when my ass has had a thorough warm up. My eyes widened in fear and she smiled as she reveled in the overwhelming feeling of power. She was not gentle with the cane and I felt every whack run through my body. My only hope was that she would change implements quickly as my limits were truly being stretched.

Princess Kali stepped up and hit me with something that carried a powerful sting. This time, she came in front of me and showed me a large, tan colored strap. It was probably about 8” wide, a couple of feet long, and seemed to cover my entire ass when it landed. A few times, it wrapped around my side, generating an added sensation of pain in sequence with the original strike. Princess Kali seemed to love this implement and Lady C was excited to try it, taking it from her mentor when it was offered and laying several solid blows to my ass.

The focus for the next fifteen minutes seemed to be paddles and they used quite an arsenal of different ones in their assault on my battered ass. Princess Kali liked the brown paddle with large holes in it that Lady C pounded into me, demonstrating the points where the flesh would squeeze into the holes, showing how that would leave lovely marks, and explaining that the holes allowed for easier air flow and less resistance so that the paddle would land with more force.

Lady C had a solid black paddle that I had purchased for her early in our relationship, one that was originally intended for her to use on someone else. They both had quite a laugh at my expense as the club like paddle landed over and over again. Princess Kali had a large, thick, wooden paddle with the word SLUT carved in to it which both of them used on my now well abused flesh, then Lady C pounded me with her red acrylic paddle which she had recently gotten to replace the see through one she had broken with a particularly punishing blow several weeks before the fetish fair.

When I had been paddled to their satisfaction, Lady C picked up her infamous rubber flogger, ‘number 13”, and proceeded to leave an intense impression. This implement bites into my flesh in an agonizing manner and is one that often causes me to beg for mercy. I was so far gone at that point, that blows that would normally have broken me, at least seemed tolerable. I am not sure if this was because I was so deeply entrenched in sub-space that the endorphin rush was helping to dampen the pain or if after the whipping and paddling my ass had simply gone numb, but I recognized that I was taking blows that were well beyond my normal limits.

At that point Princess Kali showed My Lady some of her more vicious punishment implements and handed her what I believe was a rubber rod that was about two feet in length with some type of handle that I believe had knives built into the inside. The demonstration was right in front of me and if it was done with the intent to scare me it worked.

“Would you like to try it?” Princess Kali asked her eager apprentice.

The scariest moment for me of the entire session was the look I saw on her face when she took it in her hand. Her eyes widen and the edges of her lips spread out in a smile of pure sadistic pleasure as she took the implement in her hand and walked behind me. The pain was intense as several blows exploded on my already bruised and battered ass. I was truly grateful for whatever the factors were that limited the feeling in my butt or I would have been screaming out and begging for mercy.

The two women went behind me and admired their handiwork, feeling the warmth of my flesh, tracing the lash marks and bruises, and drawing out the last ounce of sadistic pleasure from the intense beating they had just given me. They seemed quite proud of themselves.

I was released from the bonds and ordered into the cage. There Princess Kali had me sit up so that my head fit through the hole, while she climbed up on top of the cage and sat down on the soft leather. She removed her shoes and extended her feet to my face.

“Smell my foot pissy face,” she ordered. “I want to hear the sound of you breathing in and out!”

Her feet were sweating and the aroma was both strong and intoxicating. She mashed her foot into my face continuously, and ordered me to breathe more loudly so that she could hear me. Lady C joined her on top of the cage and extended her feet in front of my face as well. I was made to smell four sexy feet as the two women kissed and embraced.

It was an incredible feeling of submission after all the intensity of the humiliation and beating I had endured. I was a helpless prisoner of these two wonderful women, forced to submit by inhaling their essence as they basked in the afterglow of their forceful dominance and erotic sadism. Seeing the expressions of complete joy on their faces made it truly worthwhile for me and I realized that there could be no better way to end a session than this.

They let me out of the cage and I was first ordered to kiss Lady C’s feet then Princess Kali’s. I knelt before My Lady and kissed each of her feet, then turned to do the same for Princess Kali. Lady C could not resist the exposed target and landed four or five kicks to my balls as I demonstrated my subservience to Princess Kali. As a final act of dominance, I was ordered to drink down all of the remaining contents of the squeeze bottle. Lady C counted until I finished, reaching a total of twenty before the bottle was totally drained. Later than night, I would have to take twenty more kicks to the balls for taking so long.

The aftermath of the session was very special. It was truly one of the most intense experiences for both of us. The dungeon environment made it more real and the approach that Princess Kali took was incredible. The chemistry between Lady C and Princess Kali throughout the session made things flow and work in a way that made the fantasy become incredibly real, and for several days afterward My Lady and I shared an extreme emotional bond of love for one another. Those feelings included a tremendous joy in our special love, and also included pride in one another. I was proud of My Lady for how well she demonstrated her role of Domme, she was proud of me for being such a good PET and taking their humiliation and beatings as a sign of my complete submission to her. Our love truly hit a new high.

Before ending this memory, I need to add that there were several moments during the session in which we were both struck by what a unique and special professional dominatrix Princess Kali is. There is always the certainty that she is a true sadist as the joy and pleasure she gets from both her power and her ability to cause pain feed a session to make it better. She has true expertise with a variety of implements of pain, and can throw a whip to land in the most painful manner, but there is much more behind the skills of this woman whose intelligence and understanding are at the very least a match for her physical beauty.

At the beginning of the session, Princess Kali really took the time to listen to each of us. Her goal was to truly understand what makes our relationship and our sessions tick, so that she could provide us with an experience that would add to it. She was very quick to understand what drives both My Lady’s needs to dominate as well as my needs to submit and used that understanding to craft an experience that was as close to perfect as either of us could have imagined. There were other moments of true professionalism that I believe is a characteristic that is very rare in a Pro Domme. She knows exactly when to push limits and when to back off. She does it perfectly with a flow that fits naturally into the session. She also recognizes the difference between good pain and bad pain in a session, paying attention to blood flow in bound limbs and making sure that implements like the ball clamp cause the intended, erotic pain of pressure, but careful to avoid the non-erotic and unintended pain of catching and pinching the skin. Princess Kali is truly unique and very special. We are glad that we met her and her participation and mentorship continues to take our relationship to new heights.