Erotic Humiliation – Class Hand Out

General Tips

+ There are three major levels of play: Embarrassment, Humiliation, and Degradation.

+ You can’t use an action as humiliation if the person does not find it humiliating! This kind of psychological play is extremely personalized.

+ Intention is the difference between erotic humiliation & abusive behavior. This is not something to do when angry & the ultimate goal should be a feeling of love & support for the submissive.

+ Recognize that some humiliation fantasies should stay in our minds & NOT be acted out, and that’s ok.

 

Resources

+ Use a deck of index cards to write down words & phrases that turn you on so you can be inspired while you play. Both the dominant and the submissive can & should contribute ideas.

+ Kink Academy has quite a few videos regarding humiliation

+ My first book Enough To Make You Blush: An Introduction to Erotic Humiliation was recently released

Authentic Domination – class hand out

General Tips

+ Don’t buy into stereotypes about what domination “should” be! There are a lot of different styles of dominance: sensual, strict, tender or even a combination!

+ Confidence is the root of dominance. It’s not about being rude, loud or angry. It’s believing, that for whatever length of time (an hour, a day, a weekend or longer) you are in control. There’s no need to shout about it.

+ Structure supports spontaneity. Investing time in creating some sort of reference point (protocols, a special verbal code to communication, punishment/rewards) will leave your energy for the kinky sexy fun.

+ You don’t have to put on a circus for every kinky scene. Make time for it in your life in whatever way you can. Let things have a shorter “arc” so you can still feel satisfaction.

+ Use the effect of verbal command. Even if something seems obvious, using words and commands to by emphasize the experience of “force” it can transform otherwise mundane actions.

 

Resources

+ Improv classes at your local continuing education program can loosen you up during playtime and help you explore different aspects of yourself.

+ Kink Academy has quite a few videos regarding domination

+ I’m currently developing an online guided course, which will eventually be launched at www.AuthenticDomination.com

How to own and train a service submissive – Class Handout

General Tips

+ Training your service submissive is the only way to get them to do exactly what you want, how you want. If you do not teach them and institute required practice sessions then you can never expect them to learn how you want something done, vs. how they would do it.

+ Things are learned through repetition, though it may not seem very exciting to spend time going over and over things, it is necessary if you expect a quick, instinctual response from your sub

+ Be very explicit in your instructions.

+ Use special command words/phrases/gestures to simplify communicating.

+ Structure supports spontaneity!  – By committing to consistent punishments and rewards for various activities you can skip right to the good stuff rather than having to waste time making ‘decisions’.

+ Set your own protocols (aka rules) that suit your needs. They might be about positions, titles/language, etiquette, or how you want certain tasks taken care of.

 

Resources

+ Don’t just read kinky books! Business management, etiquette, and even dog training books all have useful information.

+ Kink Academy has quite a few videos regarding both sides of service from multiple educators (including Mollena, Lucky Albatross, Sarah Sloane, Needlestuck & Sissy Stephanie)

+ If you’re interested in personalize coaching I offer Skype sessions for singles or couples to address your individual needs. You can find more info here

 

AASECT “Earn An Ethical Living As A Sexuality Professional”

My presentation for AASECT 2013, which I realized later I should have titled “An introduction to building your business” so I’m already working on next years new & improved proposal!

The Hand-Out from the class is at the bottom of this page

Reference List

For social media management I suggestion HootSuite.com

WordPress.com is far & away the easiest website development platform. If you want something super simple you can purchase a book such as __ to help you figure it out. If you want something a bit snazzier it really is better to pay someone to take care of it. The less time you spend figuring out how to do a new skill that you don’t need to, the less time you have to be making money.

If you’re looking for a website designer, I recommend Laura who owns ThreeDesignThree.com who I now hire for all of my sites. I don’t get any commission from recommending her, she is simply light-years ahead of who I’ve worked with in the past. She is easy to work with, helps you figure out what your vision is and then brings it to life and she has very reasonable rates (and she’s honestly worth every penny).

Once you have your website you need to make sure you include Google Analytics and you should spend some time learning how best to use it. This information will help you focus your strategy and your time where it’s most effective.

A Few Websites You’ll Find Useful:

IttyBiz.com – I own all of their courses and have loved almost every newsletter I’ve received, which have concrete suggestions and inspirational encouragement.

SethGodin.com is where the ‘godfather of new marketing’ has a regularly updated blog, with information that isn’t in his books and also has inspirational encouragement.

I recommend signing up for both newsletters!

Books:

Seth Godin

Permission Marketing : Turning Strangers Into Friends And Friends Into Customers

The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick)

Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us

Purple Cow, New Edition: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable–Includes new bonus chapter

All Marketers Are Liars: The Underground Classic That Explains How Marketing Really Works–and Why Authenticity Is the Best Marketing of All

Other Marketing:

The Marketing Gurus: Lessons from the Best Marketing Books of All Time

Content Rules: How to Create Killer Blogs, Podcasts, Videos, Ebooks, Webinars (and More) That Engage Customers and Ignite Your Business (New Rules Social Media Series)

Make It All About Them: Winning Sales Presentations

WordPress Website Development

WordPress Revealed: How to Build a Website, Get Visitors and Make Money (Even For Beginners) (Volume 1)

WordPress To Go: How To Build A WordPress Website On Your Own Domain, From Scratch, Even If You Are A Complete Beginner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New to Domination? Handy Reference List of Resources

Search ButtonOn KinkAcademy.com there are a lot of videos that are helpful for anyone who’s new to domination. Here are some of them, but you can also click “basic” from the drop-down menu in the top right corner to find an expanded video list. You’ll have to click through the waiver to get the videos, but it’s worth the extra click ;)

Intimacy Within Power Dynamics: Trust

Guidance for Newbie Dominants Part 1 & Part 2

Stingy or Thuddy?

The Fun of Spanking: Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3

Nipple Play: Scale of 1-10

Kissing & Dominance

Enjoying Both Sides of Worship

Aftercare

Here are some books I recommend that will give you an honest, useful look at how to incorporate Domination into your sex life.

The Topping Book

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction

Screw the Roses, Send Me The Thorns